Play 2


Everyone Smokes



Two twenty-something guys sit on a stoop, smoking cigarettes

1: everyone smokes

2: everyone smokes

1: everyone looks familiar

2: everyone sucks

1: everyone will look familiar tomorrow

2: I want whisky

1: everyone likes whisky

2: everyone smokes

1: I want a better memory

2: I want more money

1: everyone smokes

2: everyone thinks about money

1: everyone wants to get drunk

2: everyone remembers nothing

1: with or without whisky

2: I want an iphone

1: everyone has iphones

2: everyone texts really fast

1: I want to text really fast

2: I want whisky

1: everyone smokes

2: I want a girl friend

1: I want beef jerky

2: I want a death row records tshirt

1: I want another cigarette

2: I want another cigarette

1: I want cheaper cigarettes

2: everyone wants cheaper everything

1: I want a haircut

2: I want lasagna

1: I want beef jerky

2: I want lasagna

1: everyone stinks

2: everyone on the subway stinks

1: everyone's too hot for their own good

2: I want fall

1: I want autumn

2: I want to smoke some ganj

1: everyone is high

2: everyone sucks

1: everyone's so uninteresting

2: everyone whines all the time

1: I want everyone to shut up

2: I want everyone to shut up

1: I want whisky

2: everyone smokes

1: everyone looks familiar

2: everyone sucks

1: I want cancer

2: I want tuberculosis

1: I want lupus

2: I want chlamydia

1: I want to be blind

2: everyone's blind

1: everyone dies

2: “the very stone one kicks with one's boot will outlast shakespeare”

1: what

2: “the very stone one kicks with one's boot will outlast shakespeare”

1: what is that

2: it's from a book, it's like virginia woolf or alcott or some bitch

1: what do you know about some bitch's book

2: what

1: I said, what do you know about some bitch's book

2: it's just a good line, I thought it was applicable...

1: I don't know what you've been up to man, but it's not cool, man

2: what the fuck are you talking about

1: look, next time, just keep your shit to yourself, okay

2: dude, I don't get what the probl-

1: just shut up okay

2: what's the fucking probl-

1: EVERYONE SMOKES OKAY

2: yeah, dude, everyone smokes