Play 27

Late Night Faith Lessons

Dude, what is that

what is what

what is that thing

what thing

that thing fucking staring at me

oh this little guy

uh, yeah, that little guy

what's your problem


what no way dude it's baby Buddha

it's what

baby Buddha

it's baby Buddha

Baby Buddha


Buddha, dude

what about him

Buddha is important


What, yes! Fucking important

Not to me

Do you even know about Buddha

I know a shit ton about Buddha

Yeah right, dude

Probably know more about Buddha than you do

No way, man, no way

Where'd that thing come from anyway

Some chick stole it, and then gave it to me at a bar

some chick gave you Baby Buddha at a bar


and how do you think real Buddha would feel about that

he'd feel pretty good about it


yeah man, freedom


For sure, dude, freeeeeeedom. Freedom is actually what Buddha is about

But, Baby Buddha?

Baby Buddha is about the same thing as real Buddha

I'm pretty sure Baby Buddha is about like, peekaboo and pureed green beans


...cuz he's a baby

but he's baby Buddha

a baby's a baby, dude

no way not buddha

i'm gonna go ahead and say... yeah, baby. It's a baby. And it's creepy. And I want it out of our living room.

No fucking way

yes way

No way. We need him.

We need that creepy statue?

We get... so, like, out of touch man.

Excuse me?

We like, lose it... we like, forget the real deal stuff man... we like, don't have the hold on things that we could have if we only, if we only

...if we gave a shit about a stolen statue of some antiquated religion, you know this shit is bullshit

what, no way... have you ever even meditated, dude? That's buddhism man, it's about clarity, it's about the path to understanding, it's about this little guy... as a clear symbol of what we need, what we should be seeking

why do we need a dumb fucking statue to do-


You're not even Buddhist! Don't you see the problem with this? You think about a couple new ideas for a couple hours, you read the Wikipedia about Buddhism and you think that this creepy statue will somehow show us answers to fucking anything. GUESS WHAT.... this shit, that's not answers. It's all just someone else's ideas, someone else's rules that for a lot of different complicated fucked up reasons, people just kept buying into...we don't need other people's rules, man... we need to stop getting wasted when we say we're gonna work... we need quit texting and quit checking facebook and we need to talk to each other and work out problems and we need to enjoy the time we spend doing whatever it is we have to fucking do throughout our day and we DEFINITELY don't need some old ass religion from some far away country to tell us how to be happy and tell how us to be in touch with our world cuz guess what... our world is our world. Fuck the rules other people made up man and fuck whoever the bitch was that stole this statue and gave it to you. Meditation is bullshit. Nirvana is bullshit. All the insane forms of Buddha that don't even make any sense... like he came out of the belly of an elephant... that is nonsense man, and people will genuinely believe it over and over because someone is telling them to! It's fucking nonsense and I'm fucking sick of this shit. I don't want to see that thing. And I dont want you to tell me that a fucking plastic baby statue is gonna give me clarity and help me to no lose touch. Fuck that. Fuck you.

Dude, what the fuck do you know

Not much, man... but what the fuck does this baby statue know

Well then just shut the fuck up, okay?

What, you're gonna take this personal?

I just really don't think you know as much as you think you know.


Well, then, whatever

You really keeping this thing out here, dude?

Oh fuck yeah.

It's seriously a pretty creepy statue.

Yeah I know.

You know?

Oh yeah, but I kinda think it's important

Ugh, well, fine then