start (just) stop (watch)

we still don't know how

to be what we are

the consciousness that

cursed us

the books they made up

to make sure we'd keep

killing each other

the clock calendar carousel

wracking guilt, disappointment

lottery lucky time travel fantasies

not a step up

no stepping up

a reckless beginning

with a crossbow counterpoint

gotta hell of a kickback

braised bravery

for the good of it all

all of the good

pressed convulsions, backtracking

i wasn't sure what my mind

was appraised at anymore

fuck it i was out of the game anyhow


who were the poets

i was supposed to find out

who were the comedians

who were the prophets

who were the dream dreamers

who had guts after all

who had em



practicality like a headache

with that holding gripping clenching kind of charm

who i couldn't be

was getting pretty chummy with everybody

piece by piece by piece by piece

that's all i got, no?


i would make me 

and take the time it takes

and the ups and downs

of my bank account 

and brain

i would create me

in that time and place

hovering just over reality 

and just under eternity

like the space between magnets fighting

but with a good ending

i would derail me

if need be

just to be clear... i am NOT afraid

i feel roots when i stand

mobile roots

along for the ride

like the forest i missed, left behind

it's still there, making noise

theologically speaking

bracing for broken daydreams

inevitable but temporary

another chapter, come and gone

like they say sometimes

but i would stay the main character

just watch